Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Today is not a very good day :(


Last night was a total drag.

Once again little Talia screamed and cried all night. It was extremely hard for all of us to get any sleep. Just once it would also be nice to not be woken up by all the beeping.

Jesse got up multiple times to go to the bathroom and each time she threw up. There was one time when she couldn't find her bucket so she vomited all over her bed. I have lost track of the times that she has thrown up today. On top of all of this, she tells me that from the top of her head all the way down her neck is in pain. I can not imagine how she feels right now, and I find it completely unfair that I can not do one thing to truely help her out. The only time that I feel that I'm helping her in the least bit is when she asks me to come sit with her. I can then show her how much I love and care for her. I guess comforting and praying for Jess is all anybody can do.

As we endlessly watch TV, I can only hope that the rest of this day doesn't go further downhill. I just want her to feel normal and happy once again. I already know though that that won't exactly be easy.

Well, thank you everyone for your support, and I'm sorry for the late blog, time really slipped away from me today.

Much love,

~Kota~

11 comments:

Grandma and Grandpa said...

Oh Sweetheart, I am so sorry for your miseries! However, it is only a slip--you are still climbing the mountain of victory. You WILL win. (I read the back of the Book). Ephesians 6:10 thru 18
talks about putting on the whole armour of God, until we can stand against the craftiness of the devil. And when we do that, then we stand. The shield of Faith guards us against the fiery darts of the wicked. The helmet protects our minds. We don't have to allow the negative thoughts to stay to discourage and defeat us in our faith. And we have a sword to slay all negativity that plagues us, and that is the Word of God.
(Someone please write and help me by putting the thoughts in words/phrases that Jesse and Dakota can relate to, and be encouraged).

Dakota, you are doing a great job. I know it is disheartening when you want to do something physically for Sister so badly, and there is nothing you can do. You are doing the best thing possible: being there for her, loving her and praying for her.(Parents learn this with the first baby. You are learning it early!) You are wonderful!

We are praying for all of you, and praising our loving, faithful Lord for the victory.

Grandma and Grandpa

Jasie said...

Dear Jesse,
Hope you feel better tomorrow and have a better night tonight. I'm still praying for you!! God will pull you through this.....He is watching over you.

Love and support,

Jasie Trimble

Kris said...

Jess, I pray that God will carry you through the night and that He is also able to help calm you dear roommate. Remember the bible story of the woman who know she only needed to touch His robe to be healed? I cant tell you where it is at in the bible, but that story has always touched me so much. Maybe to help pass time you can have someone read it to you. I sure wish I could stop by again and see you, but I am not thinking you are up for company. Garhett and I passed the hospital today on our way to take him to the Dr. and he saw the hospital and said that is where Jesse is. We continue to think of you and pray for you.
Love the Tramps

Oliphint- said...

Dakota--stay strong and rest in knowing you are doing such a great job! You being there, sitting there with your sister, playing games, chit chatting, watching tv, sleeping, praying for her, etc. is so awesome and great. I know that Jesse appreciates it and loves you for all you do! You too are strong like Jesse. I can't imagin watching someone you love so much go through what sweet Jesse has gone through. What sweet strong girls you are!

Jesse--we are praying everyday for you sweet girl! Our family will stand in prayer for you till the very end!! Love you guys!

Matt said...

hang in there baby! stay strong your a tough girl!i miss you!!!!!! i miss hearing from from you but sleep on girl get your rest recover so that it wont be as bad :( i miss you love you -matt

God's Girl said...

Thanks for the update Kota...

Jesse, I am so sorry for how badly you feel.

Lord, please, help relieve Jesse's pain and discomfort.

We love you Jesse!

Todd and Julie

Erica said...

Oh Kota Jo! My heart aches reading your post. :( I know how hard it is watching Jess suffer. :( My prayers are with both of you. Lord please remove this pain from Jesse, we know your in charge and we rest in that. Father find mercy on these sweet sisters.

Girls your gramma is right - Ephesians is a great book and remember to gear up each morning for a new battle against this awful disease and against the lies the devil tries to fill our minds with.

You two have faith beyond your years. Know that we're praying for you and we love you all.

MMMMMMUAH!

Anonymous said...

Dakota,

Your love for your sister and tender spirit towards her needs is such an example for us all. You are learning so much, I am sure. Cancer is harder on the caretakers and family members than people think. My husband has told me about the pain of feeling so helpless when you want to do anything, something, to help ... but find that there is little you can do. He learned a great deal about depending on God and prayer.
So, keep your chin up little friend! You are such a light to all of us ... and more importantly your sister I am sure!

Jesse,
Our little fighter! There are not words enough to tell you just how much my heart is burdened for you in this journey. I am sure that there are many days when you feel like it will never end. Take heart dear one, it will. Know that God is catching every tear shed along this path, and is holding you nearer than you know. Keep fighting Jesse. Keep finding reasons to laugh and smile. May our prayers rain down around you like sweet rain as they find their way to God's awaiting ear.

Love to all of you ... (including my favorite gardner...)

Lisa

Anonymous said...

Good Morning Dakota,

I couldn't help but notice that you mentioned every time you got up you had to throw up. Although the thought of peeing in a bed pan is not fun, neither is throwing up. I couldn't help but think maybe if you did not have to get up to urinate then you may not have to vomit as much. I hate to hear about you losing more weight.

I pray for Talia that her cries would be softened and that she comforted to allow you to sleep better Jess. Thank you Dakota for being the hands and feet for the Lord. You are wonderful to continually stay by Jess's side and care for her tremendously.

Jesse, I will continue to pray for you and your recovery. Stay strong. Your Gma is so right. Put on the FULL armor of God. Any negative thoughts hold captive and in the name of God they will flee.

We love you and pray blessings for you.

Sammy

Carl Will and Family said...

Good Morning Friends -

Oh DJ - how I feel your pain... It can be so totally frustrating to want to care for someone - to try to care for someone - and still feel totally useless...

Your Grandparents are completely right - GOD has given you everything you need for complete and total victory... You are both soldiers on a battlefiled - completely armored - trained - equipped and able to fight this fight.

When the fight becomes too much - or you become weary on the battlefield - GOD will refresh you. Seek HIM at home, at church, in the car, at the grocery store - wherever you happen to be. HE will fill you and cleanse you and get you refreshed and renewed.

Jesse, GOD has really blessed you with a faily who loves you and cares for you...

Kota, you are absolutely right that sitting with Jesse and praying for Jesse are the only things you can do... they are also the very best things you can do.

GOD has given you (both) an amazing spirit that can only grow grow grow in strength. Continue sitting with Jesse. Hold her hand, read a book, play cards, whatever you can do - it reinforces your love for her.

Remember that "sacrifice" is no good unless it costs you something. It is a greatly mis-understood concept. GOD loves you and wants you to give HIM your best - your very best!

Your love for one another falls under the headings: "service to GOD" and "my gift to GOD"

You glorify GOD with your love for each other.
Continue!
Persevere!
Hang Tough!
Woo-HOO!
Give GOD your very best!

I love you guys!
Carl

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