Thursday, January 22, 2009

Same old same old



Good afternoon everyone,

Each night seems to be a repeat of the last. Jesse is still throwing up constantly, which is hard to believe when she has absolutely nothing inside of her. Well...except for her medications, JESSE DID YOU FORGET THAT THOSE ARE SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU, THEY CAN'T DO THEIR JOB IF YOU KEEP CHUCKING THEM UP. I'm just kidding, I know you can't keep them down which is one of the worst parts of this.

When I woke up this morning I found Jesse vomiting again. All I could do was look at her with remorse and sorrowfulness. I screamed inside of my mind...asking God to please help her.

YOUR AMAZING JESSE, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT EVERYDAY. EVEN LAST NIGHT AS I WATCHED YOU GET UP TO GO TO THE BATHROOM FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME, YOU WERE PUKING AS YOU WERE WALKING. YOU ACTED LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL. I REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE LITTLE AND WHENEVER WE THREW UP WE WOULD ALWAYS CRY FOR MOM AND DAD TO COME HELP US BECAUSE WE WERE SCARED. I DON'T SEE THAT YOUR SCARED ANYMORE, JUST EXTREMELY ANNOYED.

Man, I hope this day goes easier for Jess. My dad was right when he said that it is better for her to be asleep all day so that she doesn't feel any pain and what not. If that's what it takes, keeping myself entertained to get through the day without talking to her is just fine.

LET ME TELL YOU JESS I FELT MORE LIKE A SISTER YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS ABLE TO LAY ON YOUR BED WITH YOU AND JUST HOLD YOU. IT WAS A GREAT FEELING TO HAVE YOU IN MY ARMS BECAUSE I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH. IT MAKES ME FEEL CLOSER TO YOU AND IT REMINDS ME OF THE GREAT SISTERLY BOND THAT WE HAVE. I LOVE YOU JESS!!!

Well let me say thanks to you all who pray for Jesse and the rest of us. I appreciate the calls that I have been receiving lately. Thank you so much.

Much love,

~Kota~

3 comments:

Grandma and Grandpa said...

Jesse and Dakota, you are wonderfully marvelous young ladies! I feel so priviledged to be your grandmother. I am humbled at how much God has blessed me with my family. If you ever begin to even THINK of doubting your salvation, or wonder if Jesus can be seen through you, just read this journal again as a bystander! Only God can give the strength you girls have. His amazing grace radiates through you.

The climb up Victory Hill is a lot shorter today, Jesse, than yesterday, or a week ago. Rest in Him while He infuses you with strength to endure the climb. Remember, "The everlasting God is you place of safety, and His arms will hold you up forever".
Deut.33:27a

Grandpa sends his love and prayers also. His constant phrase is, "I wish we were there and I could just DO something for her and the family." Of course, all of us here feel that way, and we are all praying. We are praying for little Talia, also.

A grandmother overheard her little 5-year old granddaughter 'playing wedding'. The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you; you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

Anonymous said...

We feel so bad for all of you (especially Jesse of course). What a rough patch in this journey. Hang in there, lots of people are behind you. Let's hope tomorrow brings a puke bucket free day!
Love from your Oregon friends,
Mark, Toni, Trevor & Austin Rieger

Jeremy Ashlock said...

Jesse,

Hang in there! You are way tougher than I would ever be. I am a complete wimp, especially when it comes to throwing up! You are amazing and I'm praying that God would allow you to rest and for you to be able to stop throwing up.

Kota,

You are an amazing person and what an awesome sister you must be. Reading your words breaks my heart. Praying that God would give you the strength to keep supporting and loving on Jesse. Keep seeking the Lord in all things, and keep being that awesome sister to Jesse!

Love you guys,

Jeremy