Sunday, December 21, 2008

My Hero


Good Morning Prayer Warriors,
I finally was able to spend the night with Jess (MY HERO). I have missed her so much that words don't really cover it. I couldn't hug her enough. I laid with her (on a really small bed) and watched movies. I felt like I just needed to be touching her to be close enough. Even that didn't really feel like enough. It was terrible being at home and all you can do is think about Jesse and what she is going through. She has never been alone but without being there I felt she was .....without me anyway. When you actually see all she has to go through it really magnifies the hurt that you feel for her. She has continued to throw up every couple of hours. She had a run last night that was every hour.
It seems like they knew I was coming. We got moved out of our private room around 4pm. We went back in the room she had the first round next to Brady except he got to go home. So we had a room to ourselves last night. The Nurses came in at 2am and moved the couch out from the other side of the room. I expected someone to move in but they left the crib there. Odd time to move furniture.
She is still running a temp. She got two bags of blood in the middle of the night. She is taking her blood virus medicine only once every 24hrs and they give it to her at 1am. She had so much medicine going in her and beeps going off I couldn't believe it. Jesse was throwing up and there was three beeps going off. I pushed the call button but I could hear them instead of them hearing me. They left the phone off I guess. When I walked out there I found about eight Nurses talking and laughing. I didn't have to say anything (must have been my expression). Three of them jumped up and Jesse was waited on like a princess.
God has taught me so much through this trial. The biggest lesson is how helpless I am. For someone that thinks he can take on anything and anyone I have found myself humbled and in the position that I know I can do nothing without the Lord. I knew that already but this experience had brought it out to a whole new level.
Through all of this Jesse stays pretty positive (as much as you could ever expect). We talked a lot last night (because we weren't sleeping) about her being home around Christmas. When she gets home I will have everything I want for Christmas and that is when it starts for me. My family has already felt how different this years Christmas is going to be. We are just praying for the best.
Please hold your kids today and let them know how much you love them. It's good therapy for you too.
God bless you all and have a great day

3 comments:

DARLA said...

I dont'have a lot of time (before chruch) but wanted to check. Now I know why I felt compelled BEFORE leaving home to check.

We will pray on the way for Jesses and yOu. It takes strength to be the watchers and the only advocate our kids have. Nights are hard for sure... but then days are too with business. I hope you and Jess get a chance to have a little fun - she seems to have been doing so well.

We love you guys... Dave sends his greeting and his thoughts and prayers are for you guys. He knows the dad side of things.

Give Jess a big hug from us... Meg wants to try to come for a visit this week but will wait to see how she is doing.

Lindsay said...

Hey Dad,

I just wanted to tell you I love you and miss you all very much, see you on the 4th! Oh and be nice to the nurses :)

Grandma and Grandpa said...

Darling Jesse, KEEP THE FAITH!! I know it is hard, with all of the junk you are having to go through, however, YOU ARE THE WINNER, because Jesus is on your side!

As I was sitting here reading your Dad's entry, I got a picture of Jesus looking down at the world of people, with such hurt in His eyes. Those who once professed to know Him, and wandered away: He sees them hurting and sick, and wants to gather them up in His arms, hold them so close and help them, and they won't let Him; you can FEEL His heart breaking and bleeding. I can only sit here with tears in my eyes and say, "God forgive us! You gave all you had when you gave your only Son, and we don't appreciate the great sacrifice." What great enduring love and compassion He has for us mortals!

We had the greatest Christmas miracle in church, this morning. A gentlman in his late sixties who had once known the Lord and turned away,developed lung cancer and almost died, knelt at the alter and rededicated his life to Christ. He stood up, raised his hand, and said, "I told God if He healed me of lung cancer, I would stand right here at this alter and praise Him. I want you to know, the doctor told me this week that I am cancer-free and the hole in my lung is no more. I give all of the honor to Jesus. He did it. And I give Him praise and thanks for all of you who have stood by me and prayed for me. I will live the rest of my life for Him."

We love you, Grandma and Grandpa