Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Day 17 of Recovery

Good Morning Prayer Warriors,

Sometimes it's hard to find the encouraging words I know everyone is looking for when they check up on Jesse's progress. She is getting better...physically. We both had a bad night mentally. It must be hard for most of the readers to visualize a 10 x 20 room being all you have seen for over a month. Or having a 4 month baby five feet away crying at the top of its lungs for an hour then starting up again a few hours later. I actually laid there and got mad about it. I am so sorry for my weakness. When Brady finally went to sleep I could hear his Mom crying. I could feel her frustration and helplessness. I knew what she was going through. I told her (and God) I was sorry. To have a new born baby and already going through this "Hell" has to be tough. Jesse didn't much sleep either. Her antibiotics make her go to the bathroom almost every hour. She told me again last night that she was sorry. Those words cut me deep. For her to be concerned about what I am going through really touched me. I watched as they changed her bandage on her chest (they were training me). I noticed, as they peeled the 3 x 5 adhesive bandage off, that her skin was almost raw in the shape of her bandage. They have replaced the bandage at least five times and put it back in the same exact spot. Hello! Can't they see how raw her skin is? I asked if we could put the new one on in a different angle to give some of her skin a break. The answer...that's a good idea (God gave me grace again. I wanted to strap one on each of the nurses and see how they liked it).

Well for the good news. Jesse's ANC is at 132. She hasn't had a fever in two days (that spiked to a high number) and her diarrhea has almost completely stopped and become a soft normal movement (sorry about the details here). Her body is making Platelets. She is up to 60,000. Last week this time she was at 6,000. Her White blood cells are up to 600. They have been at 500 for a while. Her Neutrophils are down causing the low ANC. So physically she is doing better.
They are scheduling her for a bone marrow puncture and a spinal tap next Monday. At least she gets some sleep then.

As I listened to KLOVE (105.5 fm) last night and read everyones blogs to Jesse the tears rolled down my face. There is so much prayers and support and kind words that you guys write. Words can't express how much it means to have people take the time to write Jesse and the hope it gives us all. Reading the scriptures that some add give me the right words to say to Jesse when she gets down. God is good and in control. We can't understand the "why" at this time. That will be the first question when I bump into the "Big Guy" in heaven.

KLOVE is a great radio station for those of you looking for a radio station that has encouraging music and words. It has helped me through some tough moments.

God bless you all today. Count your blessings today. There is so much to be grateful for.


Anonymous said...

Hey You,

I`ve been thinking of things to write for about five days now but cant seem to find all the right words on what to say or how to say everything, seeing you in the hospital for these weeks has been really tough especially when you said I can`t wait to get that cheese burger and your dad said I cant wait to chase you around the kitchen I felt my heart drop with sadness as I watched you lay there and pictured you running around the counter trying to avoid your dad after you had called him a "bum" or slapped him on the head haha man clent I can`t agree with you more. Thank you both Mr.& Mrs. Catron for letting me be a part of your daughters life! words cant explain how much I am thankful for her in my life. Jesse your amazing babe! haha I still see you sitting there at the bowling alley all shy and not wanting to talk that much:)Life has been great with you in it hey I smile now:)Your doing great babe your one tough cookie ;p stay strong and we will all stay strong for you! you have a wonderful familia who all have GREAT HEARTS!!!!! *your dad said a couple weeks ago that he would catch me if he needed to and it scared me a bit so ive been trying to eliminate that posability :) LOVE YA BEAUTIFUL :) and will ALWAYS be there no matter what!!!!:) -MATT:)

Erica said...

Oh how I can't wait until you are all home and can get some sleep! I can't imagine how hard it is to get rest in that hustling bustling hospital. Poor baby Brady - adding them to our prayer list too. May the light of Jesus shine brightly as you both battle this nasty disease.

Praising the Lord that your numbers are up Jesse! You'll be home in no time! Stay strong sweet girl. We're praying for you!!

Tom said...

Jessie, hello from Portland Oregon and Calvary Temple Church and a long time friend of your grandmother Stella. As soon as we heard of your trial my wife Micki and I have been praying for you and your family. We are so encouranged by your faith and the love and support of your family and friends. As I think and pray about you I keep being reminded of Psalm 34 and especially verse 19 where the writer says "many are the afflictions of the righteous but the LORD delivers you out of them all." Thank you for being a beacon of light in these difficult times. May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face to shine on you. Love Tom and Micki

kirkham family said...

Clent and Deanna,

I want to just say thank you for taking the time to post how Jesse is doing daily, by putting it all out there you guys allow us to come into your lives and share how you really feel, frustrations and all. You don't have share with us your most hardest moments, but I'm so blessed and touched that you do, you bear it all and make me realize how precious life is and as a parent to two wonderful children I am moved to tears...I have NEVER been so inspired and so BLESSED to have your entire family in our lives!

As always my daily prayers are sent straight from my lips to God's ears, for I KNOW He hears HIS children and WILL make things right. God Bless You...Judy

Anonymous said...

Dear Jesse
I am your mothers aunt, and your grandmothers little sister, living in Denmark.
we dont now each other but i was very sorry to her about your ilness
In my daily work, i am talking with sick people, so i now what you are going through, it is the toughest.
I will follow your progress here on the internet, and i wish you the very best. I will pray for your every day, so you soon can eat your cheese burger.
Good speed

Kris said...

Hi to all the Catron's. I just want you to know that every single day I am reading your messages and the boys ask every night over dinner how Jessie is doing. To share a little with you about how you all have effected my day's......I am slower to get frustrated at my children. Even after Seth comes into the room 3 times, saying "I cant find my shoes" And me walking in and finding them! And then when Garhett asks to play on the Wii and I say "No" and he slumps his shoulders forward and drops his head, like it is the worse thing in the world. Well we both know that it is not the worse thing in the world. I am also trying to learn to "take in the moments" not be so crazy rushing about things. So my prayer is that we can all remember that God is there taking each step with us and holding our hands and carring us when we are to weak to walk on our own. You all continue to be in our prayers.
The Tramps'

Anonymous said...

hey you guys its kenny from calvary and lighthouse dont knowif you remember and im so sorry this is happening and as im reading these the tears are rolling down my face i pray for you you guys everyday hope evrything gets better well hope to talk to you soon email me sometime and let me know email is bye. kenny

Jasie said...

(That was very touching I listen to klove all the time though.)


I am glad you are doing better. Have you tried whispering Jesus.....Jesus.... over and over until you fall asleep?? You should. I feal for you, hope tomorrow is even better. Love the way you love God so much. Don't have much to say.

Sending It In God's Name,

Jasie Trimble

Nat said...

Hey Jesse!

How are you feeling right now? I'm still praying that you'll be able to go HOME for thanksgiving! That would be AWESOMENESSLY-AMAZING!!!!! I still can't believe that its already thanksgiving. It seemed like it was yesterday. And then x-mas! This year surely has gone by too fast.
Keep pressing on and it'll all turn out for the best.

ps. I read what Matt wrote.....He's soooo sweet. Your lucky to have a caring guy like that in your life. :9

Grandma and Grandpa said...

Hi Jesse Dee,

We are so happy to hear that you are healing and hungry; those are good signs. Have they told you that your tastes in food may be different? It has happened to others after taking chemo. I am praying that it will not change yours.--Cheeseburgers and good.
The snow is gone in this area, but it hasn't warmed up. It got down to 19 degrees last night, and didn't warm up much today. We did have sunshine for a couple of hours. I think it got to around thirty.
Grandpa started another series of therapy on his neck --Lots of fun! However, after a few sessions, his neck will feel better. Then when the therapy stops, his neck and head goes back to hurting again.
My heart goes out to little Brady and his Mom. I will pray for them, also.
Nothing exciting (outside of the healings and blessings God is pouring out)is going on here, that I know about. YOU and YOUR healing is the important news. Every day I get a little more excited, waiting on/for the miracle that is going to happen in your body and life. I am so sorry you hurt so much. But be encouraged, "this, too,will pass". It is always darker just before dawn.
Lamentations 3:22-26 says: It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is God's faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul; therefore will I hope in Him. The Lord is good to them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeks Him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for Him, to the soul that seeks Him.
Grandpa sends his love, and say to tell you he wishes he was there, and could take your place and pain. (He would look cute in a diaper, to, wouldn't he?) Aunt Cindy sends her love and prayers. She apologizes for not writing to tell you herself, but she drives about 50 miles to work on one job, works as a Secret Shopper, and has a big house, a husband, and a horse to take care of when she gets home. Aunt Patti and Aunt Jean and families want you to know they, too, love you and pray for you. I talked with Aunt Merna and Unc, and they said to tell you hello and they love you and pray for you, all the time.

Last, WE love you and are praying God's mercies, grace, favor
and blessings rest upon you, Jesse, and all of the family.
We pray you, the family, Brady and Mom have sweet, quiet, healing sleep tonight.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jesse!

You may or may not remember's Christina from youth group. [the one that went to college if that helps]. I know we did not talk much but i know how much of an amazing person you are.

I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you but i am thankful that you are making a good recovery. My sister, Shannon told me about it a couple weeks ago, and I have been trying to find some way to reach out and give you my blessings. It took me a good week to find this site for you. but You have stayed in my thoughts and prayers since. I wish there was something that i could do, to make the pain go away or to help in some way, but as a broke college student, 200 miles away, i dont know if its possible. I know you will make it through and i look forward to catching up on your progress.
God bless babygirl!


Anonymous said...

Good Evening Catrons,

I am so blessed and encouraged when reading your words. I had a pastor once that wrote about a missionary that he met. He was telling a story about the persecution that he faced and how he learned to not ask God to lessen the load. But rather to ask for a stronger back. Reading your posts, I believe this is what he has done for you. Everything has a season and a timing under Heaven. No mind can understand, nor comprehend what the Lord has in store for us. I cannot even begin to comprehend what your day to day life is like. I am here to pray for you guys. I love you and miss you.

Stay strong!


Anonymous said...

(Brianna Leaton)

Jesse- I am so sorry! I know that babies crying can be a challenge..and my heart goes out for him...I'm glad that you are not alone in this, there is other people going though it and you can be supported, while being a support to them. God had me up tonight...praying for you, something wasn't right, and he was tugging on my heart in such a way that i cant evem explain! My parents prayed with me, and now, I feel about 67 percent better...there's some other things that He is working on in my life. :) My dad said that you are prolly feeling like you would rather get a fingernail ripped out, then go through what you have to. We prayed for strength, peace, and His arms to be wrapped around you. Well i better go to bed...i will give you a joke of the day tomorrow...its so late...ill give you two to make up for todays lol

Love, peace, and joy upon you and your family! ILY!

Darla said...

I missed this yesterday and decided to scroll back one day. I am crying.. I remember so well the frustrating parts.... do not be afraid to speak up and yet totally know what you mean about the need to not sin in our anger.

Sometimes the routines are so normal for the nurses that they miss out on things like bandage movement and bedside manner at 3 am. Give Brody's mom a hug and a cup of coffee (or tea) from me and I say a quick prayer for her too. Maybe if I get up to the hopsital or something & I could take her to coffee. let me know.

ON the other side of the hospital stay those things will fade LOVE YOU GUYS.

Hey click on my name for the trailer of Marley and Me.... it will make you all laugh. MEG loved the book.